Dear Ze,

Things are a bit messy today in my mind. From one side , i am so glad and grateful today about my life, about the way i think about everything , i'm in the mood of VALIDATION  .. But from an other side i am like "what is happening now?" with a sad , lonely face. But (again) you know in life these (in your mind) "sad" things aren't worth thinking about, there are just noise , bad noise in your head which you should throw away immediately , just that moment when they tend to increase. For instance, take a cupcake and the whole procedure of making a cupcake. At first you are making the base, the cake which for most of cupcakes is the same. Its the same thing with humans , we all have emotions, the same emotions in our soul here sadness, happiness, anger, hatred..... But take a closer look in that cupcake, in that cake actually that even though it is the same as the other next to it  and the in the corner of the baking pan it is in our hands , in the baker's hand how it will be on its full version, with the buttercream(pink, blue, orange, green, white, red) , the sprinkles, the chocolate(white or brown) chips or anything decoration you want..... And by that i mean , every cupcake its different and thats because you decorated it in that special, individualized way you chose, you thought... So , think yourself ,human, as a cupcake and decorate yourself in any way you like , don't let other things get in your way and mess your life up. Does this make any sense?? I guess soo.!! Well, in the baker's mind , the cupcake is like a goal , a goal he has to achieve, and for that achievement he has to close any other annoying window beside his eyes and focus on this baby cupcake, on this new life... So , you focus on your cupcake , though this cupcake is your life, is your only goal, to

live great and be grateful for your life every moment of it... Don't let any noise gets you down, you are the lord !! Put some sprinkes on your cupcake , a bit of colored buttercream, maybe some colourful smarties... And voiillaaa your baby beautiful cupcake is ready and it is really beautiful coz you made it , you made it by closing these noisy windows beside your ears and eyess. You made it and i have to admit you did a great job. These words should be in every human's daily morning routine from now on..   Just had to share that to you Ze today because it is the World Day Against Noise and for me the most importand of "bad" noises isn't the cars' noise but the noise i've been talking to you about the last couple of minutes.... So say "NO" to the noisy people in your head and out of it too.
                                                                                 Love, Magnifier♥♥

Dear Ze ,

The other week, i was sitting in my laptop the whole night long and thinking about starting a new project , a project that i have never done before, something more practical and exciting with several people' participation in. So i came up with the idea of "Filmotion" project in which a certain amount of people will be asked by me several questions about life! And why i gave that name to this project? Well, i thought of making it more visual and exciting than a random, usual questionnaire . So, i am going to film them with my camera while they are answering the questions and that because i really want to observe the feelings and reactions of them while hearing the questions and while answering them. Not odd at all for me because for me feelings and reactions of the moment are really meaningfull and there you can tell somebody's personality and spiritual / psychological characteristics. Yea curious girl me.! Its really interesting to catch this moment on camera and then watching it over and over again and at the end coming to some really special results in each person's case. It will be a great achievement of mine if i ever finished that project. It will mean so much to me. It will be my first ever research! 

I know i'm making it a BIG thing, though to some it might seem like a simple questionnaire and nothing more. And if that "filming" thing won't happen ( i wish not) , then i will try to "write" their emotions and reactions but it won't be that exact. I'm overexcited for that because today is gonna be the first "interview" . I'm gonna ask my beau first ( i wish he will be persuaded to do this thing coz its hard for him to) . By now the questions are 16 , they may increase a little bit as the time goes by and my mind keeps thinking....... Something "randomy" but i can't stop thinking about it! I am really craving a ice lolly right now, a strawberry-lemon one covered in chocolate ( Oh myy!!) . Well, let's go back to the whole project theme. Today the sun is shining, the birds are chirping and the sky is awake so i'm awake. Hahah. So i'm about to wear my cute spring dress  , take my "research" (interview) bag , take my magnifier and start magnifying into my beau's soul for the 100th time. ahahah   Yes you can tell how excited i am !! I wish my beauy is as excited. But first let me grab a piece of homemade cake(mother's) ..Mmm yummy <3 banana chocolate cake covered in chocolate.. Yeii!! Well ,wish me luck Ze!! 

Love, Magnifier♥♥ ♫♫

Dear Ze,

  

Today was Easter! Whats better than a late movie night? I decided to watch "What If" finally. Ahm, for me it was an 8 out of 10 . It was really good, i really loved the whole theme, the places were amazing, Zoe and Daniel are two incredible young actors , their characters absolutely excited me. She was dreamy! I loved the thing she was constantly thinking her as a drawing story kind of with the fairies and the animated stuff. I was really touched by her tiny tattoo in the back, it was soo......artistic and meaningfull. I'm mumbling now but i liked that movie! The whole atmosphere was really attractive but...but .but. but!! I can't understand why in every movie the couple is not best friends from the very beginning and the only relationship between them is really sexual and erotic. Well , the answer maybe to this question is SCENARIO ! But, wait think a little bit more.Two people are getting together most of the times because they love each other not only in a sexual meaning but in a other meaning also, the one who consists loving each others personality and daily goofyness. Two people who are a couple supposed to be best friends first in order to work this thing out. I can't just think being with someone and really not knowing him much or talking him like he is some stranger. Come on , you are 5 years with him, you chose that , you should be happy, not down, you should love him till your heart aches ...... My one and only misery and sadness would be to not love my "whoever he will be" partner's personality and flaws, to talk to him like i met him yesterday, to talk to him only when i wanna get laid with..... No!!Your guy is supposed to be your best friend! At least thats what i believe..... Ahm and now you will think "oh my i will never watch this movie. Will it bring me these thoughts? Jeez" .. And the answer is : No , it just that i'm so thinking about it the last couple of months.. It is something i'm gonna search about, i wanna search about!! And to "positive" you now , i made today my candle on my own ..yeiiiiii!! My family and i went to church the night, embrace the happiness of every person in that area and hope our lives to be THAT lighten (like the candles) ..... Also today after a long time i made my first doll , it was a little bit creepy and it didn't look that well. So , on my to-do list i can add "Remember to sew"  .... Well, thats for now, i will go back to this "love-best friend" subject again when i search more about it and have a whole collage of  several people' thoughts... Goodbye for now,

                                                                                          Love, Magnifier ♥♥

  ♫♫♫

Dear Ze,

I already missed you! Oh my goshie, watching this pile of books sitting in my couch for like 2-3 weeks makes me feel awkardly anxious. My anxiety level has turned bloody red. No i am just kidding. Its just you know the thing that i cant actually believe that in less than two months my 2nd semester exams are coming. So i am just doing the duck and ...........ignore this pile and the worst thing of reading them. In reality it should be the quite opposite, i should have been so happy and eager to read and learn more and more about the profession i am probably going to follow in the future. Is this an other bad outcome of my "upside down" teen life? No! I can't always blame the teen life for these feelings. I have to sit down and meditate, think about what i really want in life , what and where i wanna be 5 years from now. I should generally reflect on my life! Where do i want to be 5 years from now? Doing something i actually don't like which means..........sadness and boredom or doing something that really excites you and makes you feel you are not even working? Well, yea the second sounds much better! But you know, leaving everything behind and chase a dream might be a total success or a total destruction! Would you risk or would you stay as you are , where you are and let things go smoothly as they do? Questions , questions in my head, a head full of questionmarks !! Well, leaving everything behind and starting a new life sounds really attractive ... "The great things in life most of times begin from small suitcases with a teddy bear beside." , they say but is that a realistic state of mind or just thoughts of a dreamer? More questionmarks in my mind. Its getting really full, Ze...! How am i gonna empty my mind from all these marks? Yes, you are right , by taking them out and that thing only i can do because i am responsible of my own self, of my own thoughts, i am the one who controls everything in this place (pointing on my head) ......... Soooooo , think , think , think.... Watch this pile of books again and again , turn your PC on, go search if these books are what you really want, what you really need, what you really WILL follow. This is the only thing you can do and you must do!  What are you ? Search , search !! 

Katie Shelton , one of my BIG life inspirations.
Well, in that pic i see myself right now,
i'm thinking those things i 've been telling you about by crafting and diy-ing.
Cool ,right?  

                                                                                          Love, The Magnifier ♥♥
                                                     

Dear "Ze" ,

I would really like to find you and , you know, talk in this "lettery" way like pen-palls. So who doesn't like that, having a friend , someone to talk to whenever you want and open your heart to? I think everybody does and whoever says "Nope" he is lying for sure. I am dreaming of it my whole life and now that time is here, i finally found you. I am still not quite sure what name should i give to you or what sex , so i will call you "Ze" , neither "she" nor "he" . So , today i was constantly thinking about teenage years . And you know what? Because in two weeks i am about to turn 19, the last -teen and i believe that this year should be special for everybody. Its your last -teen !! Someone told me that your 19s is the period when your " maddest hatter " self wakes up. Also it is this period you start to think more about your future plans , the profession you are about to follow , the people you are gonna be next to and generally your future. But ,really, we yound guys have a BIG mess in our heads so one day you are like "La la la la" , "i'm gonna do this, that ...." and the other day you are like "Oh i wanna hide in my bed under my blanket and never go out in this messy world again where everybody wants to hurt me" . That thing , Ze, i call it "teenage life" . Everybody has been in this "Era" and now is my turn. Yes, i am having this "upside down" period right now which ,believe me, sucks but i will never ever forget it too. You know why? Because is a once life time thing, you will not be able to experience it again so enjoy your "upside down" madness. This is a way of forgeting my "no reason" sadness for a while! And by "this" i meant talking about this era like its something funny, something that will leave with the wind in half a shake. My letter today was so tiny but it was original, it consisted my thoughts right now which obviously are a bit sad and that makes me even more lonely and isolated. I'm not gonna whimper right now in your face so i'm gonna end my letter here...... Oh there is a sequel. Stay tuned Ze... 

                                                                            Love, the magnifier ♥♥

^^ bUCKET lIst ^^

So i decided to share my thoughts and goals for the near future. I think everybody has a checklist on his mind . Well , mine is the following :

Have strawberry-chocolate milkshake with my beau in a retro-cafe

Create my wardrobe on my own

Have the library i want with books like shakespeare, brown, kits e.t.c.

Buy vintage dresses from thrift shops

Do silly stuff with my beau

Have a bunny pet 

Perform a solo

Feel pretty every day

Take minimalistic photos

Crafty things on

Have a camera collection

Have a pen-pall 

Keep up the cuteness and happiness

                                                                 

Work hard to gain more

Reach success

Finish my secret project

Enjoy the beauty nature gave you

Be creative with my sisters

Have long joyfull chats with my sisters

                                                                ♫♫♫
                                                                                                 
                                              The magnifier says bye bye ^^

                                                   

Resolutions, goals, aiming , ticks : well, is the new year all about that? For some people maybe yes. And let me add myself on this list of the "some" . Everybody is waiting for that moment , for that "00:00" to wish "happy new year" to their loved ones and start organising their messy lives. Is that right? Yes , it is! For instance, see the whole youtube family organises their resolutions and shares them in cute "new years goals/resolutions" videos and how to reach them and bla bla bla.. So how am i supposed not to stuck on these ideas and goals?

• Start following a healthier lifestyle , 
• Growing your hair, 
• Don't be afraid of showing your personal style and attitudee 

 These were some of my goals. Well, i can't say i really reached them but i did my best to and ,yes, the outcome was adequate. I am still working out and dancing like a lunatic , still protecting my hair and make it look fabulous and full of hygiene and i don't mind wearing maxi pyjama pants and flatforms and going out like that. About the "healthy" thing i am facing a big big problem. Oh i just can't avoid all these daily temptations ( my sister's delicee cupcakes, the bueno crepes, my homemade pizzas in pita breads and fried potatoes) . But you do what you got to do as they say.. So , i'm just thinking that my body will thank me after cutting all these processed food. At least reduce the amount and the frequency (how many times per week) .
On the other hand, this "resolutions/goals" thing makes me sick and anxious (daily may i say) because its like my mind is a white board and black dots are popping out ..... Do that, do this oh and this.! And that freaks me out a little and makes me feel even more lonely and isolated. So in this part the outcome is crying(by thinking about it all the time) , feeling fat(without being) and crawling in my shell (in my case under my fluffy bed sheets) . So overthinking about your goals and resolutions is such a bad attitude ! And who says that? Me? Yes me, the one who is already overdoing it. So , you should see your resolutions as a little, with slow steps , daily push into something you want to get improved in life :) And ,yes, now i leave you with this cute message or advice :  "Don't overdo it or overthink about it. Just keep up with your life , let it go slowly like a small river flows.."  Hm really poetic today Christina...                                            
                                                ♥The magnifier says bye bye ♥

       ♥Radiohead-Creep♥